Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Just Friends

I think
you misunderstood
our relationship.

Maybe
you thought
I was getting over you.

But
what if
I was just never into you?

I'm so
sorry for
disappointing you.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Oh Sweet Contrast

There's nothing worse
There's nothing better
than realizing
than discovering
the sinking truth
the exhilarating reality
that he has forgotten about you,
that he is thinking about you,
never really did care,
always really did cherish,
never noticed you.
always will love you.

Soul Deep

"You're so awkward."
             I used to hear that phrase, a lot. But that was years ago, three winters ago to be specific. Back when I wasn't comfortable at school, at home, at church, nor in my own skin. Awkwardness defined me, or at least that's what I was taught to think. I know my friends said it jokingly and the others around me said it through their actions, but to me it seemed to hold a certain truth. And that "truth" of awkwardness settled deep in the chambers of my heart. 
             But now, two summers passed, I can say with certainty that I've changed, I've discovered the essence of confidence. I've become selfless for the selfish, discovering that in helping others I in turn help myself. Above all, I don't want anyone else to believe the lie I believed. Who I truly am and who I was made to be is to use my past pain to help other's present pain.
            I believed in the depths of my heart that awkward was what defined me. When all this time, that lie was only trying to cover the truth that I have a lot of love to share with people. And finally, I have shared that love genuinely, wholeheartedly, without holding back. Yet, still after months of silence, it comes back.
             "You're so awkward."
             And it's hard, it really is. I can't keep ignoring the lies. That little phrase - so distant, yet so familiar - flutters restlessly in my heart and still cuts soul deep.