Psalm 617

I will not ask You, "why?"
when things do not make sense
or go as I hoped.

But I will ask You
to never leave my side,
to Hold me during the tears,
to Guide me through the sojourn.

That
is all I ask.

The Future Unfolded

Words
on a website
whisk the readers
through the thick
of daydreams
of late nights when wishes keep the writer wide awake
when writers remember a lost realm
and imagine an immaculate
world where
flaws lead to freedom
grace is given to the grieving
death decrees that debtors receive jubilee
redemption restores and refreshes
and then
those things that the readers thought
and taunted
and trivialized
thoroughly
those things that the writer revealed
and reveled in
and revisited often
those things
they became
present
processes through
People

Five Days

Done.
Deep.
Depression.
Recession.
Sleep session.
Super stupor.
Simply astray.
Seeking always.
Always amiss.
A miss.
Little girl.
Little off target.
Literally losing.
My mind.
What do I hope to find.
Someone to pay the fine.
Fine gold.
Refined and then sold.
To the Romans.
They thought they owned Him.
Got a friend to disown Him.
Flogged and thrown Him.
To the ground.
I am unbound.
Found.
Freed.
Guaranteed.
A trip Home.
How Heavenly.
Hope.

The Ebb

There's an ebb and flow.
I don't know where to go.

It takes me to and fro.
To places I don't know.
And places of familiarity.

Face to face with fear,
And feelings I cannot bear.

So I run
To where I was from
A time of malign
Paradigm

But a place
I found grace

And they keep reminding me
Who I was made to be

Free

Sanguine

She carries herself

with strength and solitude

She hungers for his voice

and longs for his presence

She knows him

as steadfast despite rejection

as steady even amidst pain

She smiles

when she speaks of him

She surrenders

when she sings of him

She sustains

when she stands by him

She told him

I am listening

She asked him 

Why can't I hear you

She thought to herself

for a quick second

Maybe he doesn't speak to me

in a quicker second

She felt him

His hands in hers

warming her

enveloping her

reassuring her

She heard him 

Say

That thought is from the enemy

She listens and she learns

for she trusts

in her Father

God 

Lamentations 3:18-23

Nightmares under the Nightsky

I tried to back away, farther and farther, but it was no use. The overwhelming sounds grew louder and louder, drew nearer and nearer, until all I could think about was the loud crash that would sound when the great noise caught up to me to seal my imminent fate. And I gave up, a cry of fear, but I wasn’t even sure if I had made a sound at all, for there was no silence to break, only deafening noises that drowned out everything I had learned to say.
             And when I couldn’t speak, and when I thought I could no longer hear, a voice broke the chaos. Not a whisper, like mine, but a voice that was strong, reverberating, and articulate. And He said, “Child, wake up. Your nightmares are only as strong as your spirit is weak. My son already died to rescue you from the thief who wants to steal, kill, and destroy your heart, but I have already taken up your heart to give you life, and I will protect you from harm. You, young and beautiful one, are now flawless in my eyes. You are the crown of my creation and I just want to love and protect you, if only you will allow me. Fear no more, child. One day you will be reunited with me for eternity.”
             I opened my eyes and saw above me a blanket of stars, created by my Father. And below me the surface of the boat, and under that, an expanse of swaying water, created by my Father. And for the first time, I cried, tears of joy, that flowed into the sea. And the surface of the sea gently caught every shining star in its reflection, like a mirror of my Father’s beautiful love.

Written for www.writersnotfighters.tumblr.com

Forgetting Freedom

If only
it weren't so easy
to forget so often

If only

it weren't so difficult

to feel once more

the moment you
set me free,
unraveled my heart to see

 the instant you

gave me new life,

saved me from eternal strife

how beautiful
of a love
you have for me.

by captivating my once

dysfunctional heart of

stone.

When Everything Falls In Place

I once heard of a 20-year old Mayan man who was born deaf, never aware that there was such a thing as language. He lived his whole life in a murky daze, thinking that the movements people made with their mouths was some kind of alien way of communication they'd made. That day he realized the concept of language, that he'd lived nearly two decades in vain, he was moved, moved to tears.
            His story is the essence of life change. The way I imagine the man felt is the way I feel. Something that I thought made sense, I now realize was only a small piece of the truth. And now, the sun seems brighter. The songs seem livelier. And the smiles are happier.
            If only I'd known earlier, I think. But now that I know, this is the best feeling ever. And I'm glad I'm feeling it.