The Microphone was Still On

I'm actually blanking, right now.
Totally & completely blanking out.
Just like last night,
when I stepped into the bright light,
clad in an elegant dress and sparkling eyes,
ready to say my line,
and announce the next act.
My mind was blank,
just blank as a whiteboard,
a spankin' new whiteboard.
Even as I stepped out from the green room,
I knew I'd forgotten,
forgotten the words,
the words I'd rehearsed mere seconds before.
Thankfully Lillie's a quick thinker,
we skipped my line,
and started with hers,
an unmistakably awkward way to start the lines.
The rest of the lines were fine,
I actually remembered.
When we finished and made it back,
backstage, I laughed and said:
"Oh, now I remember my first line."
Later, my Dad let me know,
that everyone had heard.

written on February 22, 2010 for a free write in Mr. Green's English class (name changed for privacy)

Blank

Blank
out
of
my
mind

Blank
like a clean sheet of paper
like a brand new canvas
like snow

Blank stares.
Blank pages.
Blank lines.
Blank faces.

Empty,
Clear,
Clean,
New,
Nothing.
Blank.

written on November 23, 2009 for a freewrite in Mr. Green's English class

This Is Just To Say

I have flown

to New Zealand

which was on

the "To Do List"

and

you are probably

missing

my presence

Forgive me

this island is so gorgeous

so warm

and so inviting.

Written September 15, 2009 as spin-off (copy change) of This Is Just To Say By William Carlos Williams for Mr. Green's class.

Young Love

It was the night of

my brother's birthday.

Celebrating 10 sweet years.

I thought back and back,

rewinding to my 10th year, 

reminiscing a past of innocence and happiness.

A past of playgrounds

and tag

and freedom and friends.

"Hey, Jonah, do you like anyone?"

He says he's friends with a girl.

Elaine.

"But do you like her?"

He says no but they're classmates, so they must be friends.

And his cheeks go rosy and he escapes to his room.

That's young love.

written on October 19, 2009 for Mr. Green's Monday Journal Free Writes (names changed for privacy)

Impossible

I am future-oriented. That is who I am and what I strive to be. To get it all, the way I define it. Exact.

Still, I fail to realize that the future is not exactly tangible. If you think about it, you can never touch the future, because it will always be one step ahead. But that doesn’t stop me from chasing after the uncatchable, trying to accomplish the impossible. Some may say that there are no such things as impossibility, but I think there are. My objective is not in reversing the impossible, but achieving the unlikely. I'm on a mission to shine. 

written on October 5, 2010 (at 4 am and falling asleep) for a Scarlet Letter Project

Fog

I was walking to school one morning and noticed the fog off in the distant highlands. It was a strong, clear wisp entangled around an evergreen tree. Its lonely appearance was what captured my attention to notice it.

             The next morning the fog was spread out and looked thin and mysterious. This time I couldn’t help but notice the fog, because it just happened to be everywhere.

            I find that this is the same way with friends. To make an influence and be influenced, one must put certain people above others, rather than treat everyone the same. This is the fog that was wrapped around the single tree. This is who I want to be, but I can’t bring myself to pick and choose one over another. Ironically this is the exact thing that is so necessary.

Contrastingly, the fog that was spread out had touched all of its surroundings, the impact on each tree was minor, but the impact altogether was something else. This is the picture of where I am at. It is like sticking one leg halfway into cold water and the other half way into hot water, uncomfortable and uninviting. In groups of people, if you try to get to know both groups, you only know each one briefly. While the groups within are warm and bubbly, it seems that when you wander in they become dull and chilly. Something about silence, can usually be so comforting, but so cutting in these cases.

Pick and choose I must do, but.

Maybe I don’t have to choose them, and they will choose me.

written on October 5, 2010 (at 4 am and falling asleep) for a Scarlet Letter Project

Anchor

What I’ve learned over the years is that almost everything is a team effort. A companion is one who can lift a little burden off of you. They give good advice, suffer with you despite their own problems. They offer comfort and strength.

And they know Control is like an anchor. It keeps you rooted and stable. But too much anchor is no good, too much control is being stuck without the ability for movement forward or back – no progress. Therefore, too much control is really no control at all.

I am in control.

And back out again. But that’s okay.  

There will be another calm after the storm.

written on October 5, 2010 (at 4 am and falling asleep) for a Scarlet Letter Project