Just Friends

I think
you misunderstood
our relationship.

Maybe
you thought
I was getting over you.

But
what if
I was just never into you?

I'm so
sorry for
disappointing you.

Oh Sweet Contrast

There's nothing worse

There's nothing better

than realizing

than discovering

the sinking truth

the exhilarating reality

that he has forgotten about you,

that he is thinking about you,

never really did care,

always really did cherish,

never noticed you.

always will love you.

Soul Deep

"You're so awkward."
             I used to hear that phrase, a lot. But that was years ago, three winters ago to be specific. Back when I wasn't comfortable at school, at home, at church, nor in my own skin. Awkwardness defined me, or at least that's what I was taught to think. I know my friends said it jokingly and the others around me said it through their actions, but to me it seemed to hold a certain truth. And that "truth" of awkwardness settled deep in the chambers of my heart. 
             But now, two summers passed, I can say with certainty that I've changed, I've discovered the essence of confidence. I've become selfless for the selfish, discovering that in helping others I in turn help myself. Above all, I don't want anyone else to believe the lie I believed. Who I truly am and who I was made to be is to use my past pain to help other's present pain.
            I believed in the depths of my heart that awkward was what defined me. When all this time, that lie was only trying to cover the truth that I have a lot of love to share with people. And finally, I have shared that love genuinely, wholeheartedly, without holding back. Yet, still after months of silence, it comes back.
             "You're so awkward."
             And it's hard, it really is. I can't keep ignoring the lies. That little phrase - so distant, yet so familiar - flutters restlessly in my heart and still cuts soul deep.

Corruption

is a sand castle
being disintegrated
one miniscule grain of
sparkling sand
at a time.

It is a small speckled pebble
on a hillside
at the verge
of falling over the edge
and plunging straight down.

It is a child
once innocent and pure
with a desire to tell his first white lie
to get rid of the sinking weight
of cookies in his stomach.

It is inevitably nearing,
simply a sad sight to see.
Something once beautiful -
now broken -
leaving us empty and silent.

Let Down

Accident this, unfortunate coincidence that.
I move on along, you just stay put.
Pulling the strings, pushing me away.
One step forward, and another one back.
Getting nowhere, opposites don't attract.

Plans fall apart,
everything goes wrong.
Petty excuses formulate, 
nothing is ever right.

At the end of the day,
I'm not sure what you value,
anymore.

And frankly, I'm tired of it.
Cause when push comes to shove,
you're always just a let down.

On the Move

Life
is everchanging, evershifting, evermorphing.

Every moment that escapes us
contributes to the vastness of nonuniformity.

No constants, no straight lines, no clear directions.
Not even the contrast of black and white.

Just
a long walk
down a winding road
that twists and turns
and never stops for a rest.

Forgotten & Forlorn

He forgot who I was,
lost interest, losing interest.
A gap in the savings that I'd poured into long ago.

And awkward
is what I'm left to make out of it.
An awfully awkward ending
to a perfectly promising beginning.

That spark of hope,
that fuse of potential
was slowly stifled out.
Into this.